Jungle Cruise

Republished from the show notes of my other site, Fuds on Film.

It’s a film based on a theme park ride. Well, we’ve been here before, of course, with Pirates of the Caribbean, which was given the side eye before release, but turned out to be an enjoyable romp. Admittedly, a slew of increasingly poor sequels may have dimmed that memory, but at any rate it earns Jungle Cruise a fair hearing, at least.

Emily Blunt’s no-nonsense Dr. Lily Houghton is on the search for a legendary, surely mythical artefact called the Tears of the Moon, a veritable tree of life, much to the amusement of the stuffy old Royal Society. Well they’re mostly being amused by her foppish dandy brother sidekick, Jack Whitehall’s MacGregor Houghton, as they’re not going to listen to a woman speak. Perish the thought. Also on the trail is Jesse Plemons’ entirely accurately accented Prince Joachim, seeking the healing powers of the tree for Germany’s war effort, leading to some tussles over an arrowhead artefact that Lily believes to be the key to finding the tree.

So then, off to Brazil, where they hire sketchy steamboat captain Rock “The Dwayne” Johnson’s Frank Wolff to journey down the Amazon in his sketchy steamboat, with ze Germans in hot submarine pursuit, whereupon a variety of perils both natural and supernatural must be navigated until they reach the end of the ride. Sorry, film, all the while exchanging quips and barbs, and occasionally humiliating Jack Whitehall, but not often enough for my liking.

A touch dismissive, but a blow-by-blow recap isn’t going to do a lot of good, save perhaps to mention the cursed ghost conquistadors released from their captivity by ze Germans to help find the Tears of the Moon, which will also tie into Frank’s mysterious past. Oooh.

It is, of course, nonsense, but it’s such likeable nonsense that not even Jack Whitehall can ruin it. Johnson carries a lot of it, this being one of the better vehicles for his charisma and awful, awful puns, and he bounces well off Blunt, Whitehall, and even Paul Giamatti, Jesus, him again, give someone else a chance Paul, stop taking all the roles.

I have already mostly forgotten Jungle Cruise, come to think of it in much the same way I swiftly forgot anything of that Jumanji reboot, other than the vague memory of an enjoyable couple of hours of popcorn fuelled blockbuster entertainment. It’s for sure not life-changing cinema, but it’s a broadly appealing family action adventure romp that’s worth checking out.